What strategies help break the people-pleasing cycle?

People pleasing at work is something a lot of people fall into, often without realizing it.

It usually starts from a good place, wanting to be helpful, to keep the peace, or be seen as reliable.

But when saying yes becomes automatic, when a green feels safer than being honest, it can quietly build into resentment, exhaustion, and losing sight of your own news altogether.

And breaking that cycle is possible and it starts with small deliberate shifts.

Now when you feel that pull to immediately say yes to something, even when part of you doesn't want to, try pausing before responding.

So even just saying let me check and come back to you buys you time to actually think about whether you want to or can take something on.

Now those thoughts feel very real but they're worth questioning, as most of the time a thoughtful no or a boundary communicated clearly is received far better than we actually expect.

And it also helps to get clear on your actual priorities at work, as when you know what genuinely matters to you, it's easier to make decisions from that place rather than from fear of what someone else might think.

And practical ways to support you with this is beginning to pay attention to where you feel most stretched or resentful at work, as those tend to be the areas where people please in is costing you the most.

And then from there, pick one situation to practice something different.

So whether that's pushing back on a deadline, declining a task that isn't yours to carry, or simply being honest about your workload.

And it doesn't have to be dramatic, just small consistent changes adds up.

And if you have a trusted colleague or a manager, letting them know that you're working on your boundaries can also help create some accountability and support around it.

Now, if people pleasing has become a long-standing pattern and it's affecting your well-being, your confidence, or you're heading towards burnout, that's worth exploring with the professional.

As a counsellor, it can help you understand where the pattern started and work through it properly.

And you can also access your workplace employee assistance program, which can include free short term counselling as well.

Now the app has further resources on how to manage people pleasing in the workplace, to explore in your own time, and if you're thinking about harming yourself or feeling safe, then please seek urgent help by contacting your local emergency number or a crisis helpline.