What role does gaslighting play?

Gaslighting is a form of emotional manipulation where someone causes you to question your own memory, perception, or feelings about what's actually happening.

It builds slowly, which is part of why it's so hard to spot, and over time it can leave you feeling confused, anxious, and like you can no longer trust yourself.

Now, if that sounds familiar, you're not alone and there's a real reason you feel this way.

Now it might show up as someone insisting an event never happened when you know it did, or being told you're too sensitive, that you're imagining things, or that your memory is always off.

Sometimes it's more subtle, like a conversation constantly getting flipped back onto you, so that you end up apologizing without actually really knowing why.

Now the common thread here is that you'll consistently walk away doubting yourself rather than feeling heard.

Now gaslighting works by gradually eroding your trust in yourself, so rebuilding starts with learning to take your own experiences seriously again.

A simple but effective habit is writing things down, either in a journal or even on the notes app on your phone.

Not to prove anything to anyone else, but just to help stay anchored to your own version of events.

So when things feel blurry, having that record can help.

And when you catch yourself second guessing, try asking yourself what would you believe a close friend if they told you the same thing happened to them.

And then extending that same trust to yourself is where things start to shift.

Now, practical ways to support yourself with this could be to talk to someone you trust, which can make a real difference, whether that's a friend, family member, or a professional.

If you're not ready for that yet, then journaling is a solid place to start.

It's also worth paying attention to the patterns as well.

So if you consistently leave interactions feeling worse about yourself or like your reality keeps getting questioned, that pattern itself is worth noticing.

And you don't need all the answers to start paying attention.

If this is leaving you feeling controlled, scared, or like you generally can't trust your own mind, then you don't need to sit with this alone.

A therapist and counsellor can help you make sense of what's happening and start rebuilding your confidence again.

And in the UK, the National Domestic Abuse Helpline is available free 24 hours a day as well.

And our app has further resources on managing difficult relationship dynamics whenever you're ready to explore them.

And if you are thinking about harming yourself or feeling safe, then please seek urgent help by contacting your local emergency number on Crisis Helpline.